Learning from the Elderly

Old man boss’s wife:  “It has been lovely weather lately.  Isn’t it beautiful outside?”

Me (looking through the office window):  “Yep, it sure does LOOK nice.”

Wife:  “Oh, that’s right, you have to be in there all day.  That’s good, though.  It is why all nuns have gorgeous skin, because they stay out of the sun all the time.”

Me:  “Um, yes.  That does make me feel better to know that I have a lot in common with nuns.”

****************************************************************

Old man boss:  “Me and my wifey got married in a church over fifty years ago.  Did I ever tell you about that?”

Me:  “A little bit.”

Old man boss:  “We got married, and then I wanted to go back to the hotel, but she said no, let’s go to a restaurant.”

Me:  “Ok, she was probably hungry.”

Old man boss:  “And so we ate, and then I wanted to go back to the hotel, and she said no, let’s go shopping.”

Me:  “Ok…”

Old man boss:  “Then we’re shopping, and I’m all like, ‘Let’s go back to the hotel!’, but then she wants to go for a walk.”

Me:  “Why do I feel like this story is rapidly going to an awkward place for me to hear about?”

Old man boss:  “FINALLY, during the walk, she says we can go back to the hotel.  I’m all ‘Yay!’, and then we get there and get between the sheets, and it didn’t work.”

Me:  “And there it is.”

Old man boss:  “So we get up and putter around a little bit, then a few hours later it worked.”

Me:  “Well, at least the story has a happy ending.”

Old man boss:  “These days, you don’t have to wait to get married.  You’ve probably already-”

Me:  “Oops, I’m late to make very important business calls.  I MUST DO THAT RIGHT NOW.”

Old man boss:  “Alrighty.”

********************************************************

Old man boss:  “Our friend Betsy is going to buy my red car.”

Me:  “Yep, I heard about that.”

Old man boss:  “She was married for a long time, like me and my wifey, but then he died a few years ago.”

Me:  “That’s too bad.  It’s nice that she has you guys for friends to lean on.”

Old man boss:  “Now she has a new boyfriend.  They’ve been boyfriend-girlfriend for a couple of months.”

Me:  “Good for her. ”

Old man boss:  “She waited a long time before letting him kiss her, but now they’ve had sex three times.”  (holds up three fingers)

Me:  “…..”

Old man boss:  “Oh, have I already told you that?”

Me:  “No, no, this is the stunned silence of hearing about your friend’s sex life for the first time.  Next time, I’ll be better prepared.”

Old man boss:  “Ok.”

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